I was talking to my mom the other night while sitting in the culdesac, watching our crew play cornhole, ride bikes, eat popsicles etc. Its our nightly ritual in the summer and probably my favorite time of the year. Anyways, we were actually talking about this blog and what the future of it was. There is no one more encouraging when it comes to my blog and my big plans than my mom. She supports me and Tara (the other blogger, albeit MUCH bigger than me Ha! In the fam) in all of our crazy endeavors that put us out here for all the people to see. She is our photog and pray-er ☺️. This summer has been crazy with the kids and per the usual, the blog and my big plans took a back seat. On Shane and I’s anniversary, Timehop reminded me that I got my RB 2.0 tattoo just a short year ago on our last anniversary. I instantly felt BLAHHHH as it was a kick in the stomach that I was not chasing those big dreams like I was and I have a freaking tattoo to remind me. And then I felt the Lord tell me that is the exact reason I got the tattoo – I knew that times like this would happen and I would need a permanent reminder on my freaking body to keep me honest HA! So that brings me back to talking to my mom – trying to figure it all out in my head – what do I want this to look like? What do i want to do? She asked me why I am doing this and it took me a few seconds to think about it and I knew my answer:
I want to encourage women to see what treasures they are, not only to the Lord, but to their people. I want to somehow change this status quo and stop the comparison traps that so many of us fall into. We live in a different world than our mamas. They didn’t have the kind of pressure we do. I even think back to when I had Claire and even Owen- there was no social media. There were barely any blogs then. I didn’t have this crazy pressure to look, act, or be a certain way. It was so much simpler. I opened my IG and FB accounts shortly after B was born – and everything changed. Good and bad. Bad- per what I already referenced. Good- is when i think about so many of y’all praying for me from the blog when i almost lost B. This world is not all bad – don’t let Satan tell you that. That is where I have really been thinking. I don’t believe that we have to fall into this game of keeping up or comparing ourselves to everyone else- the bad stuff that makes us feel unworthy. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. I fall too. But it’s all on us. It’s a head thing. A heart thing. A God thing. We just need to come together and make a pact to be better and strong for our families. They need all of us – not the mama that feels less than. And social media and this world is only going to get bigger- if you have babies- it’s inevitable they will grow up in it. Time to embrace it, change it, and attack it correctly. I can tell you from already in the trenches of raising teens, it’s big and something that cannot be ignored.
Which brings me to this thing I am doing here – I will never be a twenty something blogger with a size 2 body and a big budget. Don’t get me wrong – i love following their pages, seeing their gorgeous pics, style ideas, and hearing about the deals they find because Lord knows I never have enough time to find them. I have outgrown the comparison trap with so many of them bc i am closer to 40 and have a young Teen that i am trying to raise and not compare. WHOLE OTHER BALLGAME. But what I have realized that trying to follow what they are doing as an influencer is not what I should be doing. There is a space that I want (and where my mama tells me to focus♥️) to help that is right here where I am. Mamas like me that are trying to survive. Mamas that don’t spend their money on themselves. Mamas that live in their cars and the office. Mamas that have a belly. Mamas that barely sleep or exercise. Mamas that want just a few seconds of peace or to make out with their baby daddy. I am focusing on what I needed years ago raising babies, as well as being an inspiration from my real life mess ups and tips and tricks as a mama of older kids. Everything from helping your heart and praying for you to helping you dress you and your kids to what the hell to cook for dinner and not losing your mind.
So I guess I say all this that I am back and with a fresh new perspective. The Lord is stirring in me and I SEE YOU. Things will change a bit and some things will be the same- but my heart is in this. Let’s stumble, walk, run, stomp, and kick Satan in the balls together. Y’all with me? From the stirring in my heart, and lump in my throat, I know the Lord is here with us!
PS – selfie of me and my mama, with a deuces photobomb from Poppy ♥️.