Continuing on with our “year that you loved you”, I want to touch on a very important part that has been a huge part of my transition to RB 2.0….DISCIPLINE.
We can buy all the planners, create all the Pinterest boards, read all the blogs, and make all the lists – but we have to actually take action and move. And this y’all, this is where every thing stops for so many of us. How many pretty planners have we bought that have MONTHS that are blank that have already passed? How many times did we do all the things on Sunday to prep for the week and then by Tuesday it all went to hell in a handbag? I know I am shaking my head YES, been there. Back when my kids were literally babies and Shane and I took a trip he earned with work. At one of the dinners, they had a handwriting reader there for fun. The first thing she told me after looking over mine was “you are a very organized person”. I laughed and laughed and told her that she should see the shit show that is my home right now with my kids and trying to work full time. And I will never forget what she said next: “oh honey I didn’t say you actually put it into action, just that you are extremely capable”. Well that hit me. Wow she so right and I was in complete denial. My life was so insane, I just chalked up my lack of order to that. I mean there is some truth to that, there is only so much we can do at certain seasons of our life. But there are definitely things that we can control and make better, we just choose to let the insanity be an excuse. I know that stings – still does to me.
So here is the deal – if we want to love ourselves more and in turn make better lives for our people too – we have to set non negotiables and do the work. Why are you so interested in meal planning? Well because you and your family need it. Why are you so interested in housekeeping tips? Because you and your family need it. Why are you so interested in hearing how “she” lost the weight? Because you desperately need to as well. These reasons are enough to make this happen y’all. Yet we keep getting by and hoping for the better. Here is the deal – if you are need of routine and discipline in your life, it probably means that what you have been doing is NOT working. What do we do when something is not working? We try it a different way or replace it, right? Why can’t we do that and stick to it for the most important things in our lives? Another sting, I know. I want to flip me off too HA!
So it’s a new year. You want to really make changes this time. You want to change your life and in turn your people’s lives too. Satan is in your ear though and saying things like “oh here we go again. another year where you will embarrass yourself before February by not doing allllll the things”. And you believe it. Because the only thing that you have been consistent and shown discipline on is NOT being consistent and disciplined. And then by January 31st, you are done and back to being ok with what you so desperately wanted to change a month ago. Well if this is going to be the year that you loved you, that just can’t happen.
Here are the facts:
- Nothing changes if nothing changes.
- You have been given this gift of life from our Lord.
- You were created for a very specific purpose and the world desperately needs it.
- You hold the power to so much in your home as the mama/wife.
- You are capable of doing whatever you know is right for you and your people.
- You are not perfect, will make mistakes, and will need heap-fulls of grace.
So now that we know the facts – let’s look at this a completely different way.
I get it. Cleaning your house is the worst. Working out sucks. Eating well really sucks. But what if we did not look at it that way. We only get this one life and for a very specific reason, the Lord placed you where you are, exactly. If we know that these things are best for us and our families, why are we fighting it and hating it? What if we looked at all the things as “kingdom work” (got that term from Jess Connoly – one of my faves!)? Meaning, this is our role for the kingdom – creating a happy, organized, healthy home, as well as ourselves to make the world around us even better. It is no accident that you are reading this blog post – we all need to come to the realization that maybe, just maybe there can be joy found in all this. And that it is not going anywhere. If you are going into the new year thinking that any of this is for a limited time or what you need to do for awhile – you are wrong. The best thing I ever did was realize that walking and making better food choices was a life long thing – not just until I wore a size 10. Maybe one day you will be able to afford a housecleaner, but you need to live as if you never will and not make cleaning the damn house something you avoid like the plague ( are you listening RACHEL LYNN CAIRE BROWN?!?!?). But if we quit being pissed about this stuff or acting like we are literally disciplining ourselves by making us do it – and instead see it as a service we are doing for the Lord because He blessed us with the blessings of children that wear clothes, need to eat, and make messes – every thing will change. I know that is easier said than done, but really – is it? It may suck at first, but putting the work in the beginning, creating a routine, and doing the initial work – it will eventually be a no brainer that you are SO HAPPY you do. Yes, happy that you did dishes. Yes, happy that you ate well and worked out. Because you know that you are presenting your best self and making those lives around you better.
So here is where to start: What is most important to you? Is it eating better and exercising? Meal Planning? House keeping? Choose one or two and focus on them for a whole month. Do NOT and I mean DO NOT try to tackle everything at once, you will burn out in a week, if that long. We already have so much on our plates, baby steps are key. Then after a month, if you feel like you are in a good routine and disciplined to keep going, add something else. If not, give yourself another month to try harder. And so on. What will happen is that you will start seeing the changes in yourself and realize you are capable of so much more than you ever imagined.
The other part of this is grace. There are going to be days when every thing will go to hell. Give yourself grace. There will be holidays and you don’t need to put even more pressure on yourself staying on your routine. Give yourself grace. Don’t let this control your life – it is supposed to help it. It can take time and should. These are lifelong habits you are creating – they are not going to happen over night. But no matter what, once you figure out your routine – there will be a huge difference in almost everything :). When you take a break from things that you have found to be an important part of you and your families’ happiness and well being – you will have no problem falling back into it.
Make this stuff easy and fun! Just like I said last night that you don’t have to clean like your mom – you can do all these things with joy! Listen to music! Use it as a way to get some alone time! Catch up on your shows while you fold laundry! Set a timer and move fast! Just go. Do it.
I know that was a lot of tough love. But I can tell you from experience – it is worth it. And we all need it.